On My Soap Box…

This is completely off the frugality topic, but I think the issue warrants a post. (I’ll get back to money saving soon- promise!)  And I know this isn’t going to apply to 99% of you (so you can just tune me out!), but for small fraction of a percent who should care, please listen up!

I’ve been blogging for nearly two years, and I’ve been pretty fortunate.  The inappropriate comments and emails I’ve received have been fairly minimal.  But it’s a growing problem.  Just last week a personal attack about me was left on another site by someone who I am assuming is a stranger.  Totally unfounded.  Completely rude.  My skin is quickly growing thicker.   (I’ve known this comes with the territory, so I’m not looking for sympathy.)

But the little attacks I’ve received are nothing compared to the online harassment and death threats some other bloggers (and non-bloggers) I’m familiar with have received.

I don’t care how much you disagree with what a blogger (or other individual) writes or stands for, a death threat is never appropriate.  (I can’t believe I even have to write that…)

To put it mildly, there’s a growing problem with a lack of manners online.  I can’t be the only one who has taken notice of this.  Whether it’s an email sent to a blogger you disagree with or a Twitter hashtag mob, things can get pretty ugly out there.

I think what’s most important to remember is this:  There are real people behind the blogs, email addresses, Facebook profiles, and Twitter accounts.  So before you shoot off that email, think about the real-life person, not the online persona or brand.  Like you, the person has feelings, bad days, and is flawed.

Would you ever call a total stranger in a grocery store a fraud?  Would you threaten to destroy the reputation of a guy you just met on the subway?  Would you even raise your voice if you heard an acquaintance share an opinion you disagreed with?

I doubt it.  People are generally pretty polite in person.  But those social norms often fly right out the window when we’re online.

So before you write, think.  Would you ever say this “in real life” to someone?  How might your comments be different if you were no longer anonymous and, instead, speaking face-to-face?

There’s a level of anonymity on the internet, for better or for worse.  But let’s not take advantage of that. As Trisha at Mom Dot shared recently, she always uses her real name in her online dealings.  What a fantastic idea.  It lends a bit of accountability and transparency to the whole situation.

I’m not against comments or emails that disagree with views being shared.  Please, disagree.  Exercise your First Amendment rights as others exercise theirs.  But I think we could all stand a reminder now and again to do so with a level of kindness.

So, to summarize, what steps can we take as individuals to keep things civil?

1.  Think before we write.  Would you say this in-person?  Is it a personal attack, or a disagreement with the issue at hand?

2.  Ask yourself, “Do I only feel comfortable writing this in this way because the recipient doesn’t know who I am?”  If that’s the case, then a re-write or deletion might be in order.

3.  Don’t get caught up in the gang mentality.  Just because everyone else is hurling attacks doesn’t mean we should jump on the bandwagon.

The bottom line is this…

Let’s keep it classy.

… stepping off my soap box and putting it away for another time…

**No comment, personal experience, or email I’ve received has compelled me to write this.  So if you’re reading this, please don’t think I’m writing to you or anyone else specifically!  I was already thinking about this issue last week when I read some posts on the issue of cyber-stalking at Mom Dot.  Then the personal attack against me from “Wilson” came along last week too.  This has been in the works since then, though just as a general musing rather than a personal statement to anyone in particular.  Even you, Wilson.***