This post could make you angry.

A big thanks to my husband, Ryan, for sharing the following guest post.

Some of you will read this and vehemently disagree. Some of you will smash plates and beat your chest in animal fury (you know who you are).

What I’m about to say is sacrilege. Maybe worse.

Still reading?

Budget’s aren’t for everybody.

BAM!

Oh no he didn’t!

Oh. Yes. I. Did.

Are you stunned?

Before you hit the back button and thunder away from your computer with goddess anger, let me reassure you. This is still a frugal blog. Mrs. Moneysaver makes sure that we run our finances tighter than Christmas with Ebenezer Scrooge. But we have a dirty little secret. I don’t think she’s ever revealed it.

We don’t use a budget. Never have.

And I’ve got to confess, I’ve never really been a budget lover. Something about the compartmentalizing. Something about the constraints and the categories. It’s enough to make my tiny type-B mind short circuit and catch fire.

Because when I’m in budget mode, the simple purchases lose their simplicity. My brain becomes polluted with the trivial, and my decision making ability clogs up and shuts down. It leaves me feeling like the Citarum River.

And worse than the debris, budgets have a tendency to degrade my financial sensibility into a Leprechaun madness. I’ll show you what I mean.

(Inside My Head)

Happy! We’ve budgeted $50 a month for Clothes. More than enough, we’ll come in under! Hello perfect budget! Dee dee dee. Tra-la-la-la. (clicking heels) Gah! A pen just exploded in pant pocket and I need a suit. It’s March, so $150 in the clothes budget. But Dana just bought clothes for Sadie. Minus $20 I think? (driving) Ah-ha! Here’s a suit. And on sale for $200, regularly $500. Good brand. (thinking) Hmm. Just $130 in the clothes budget. And wait, do shoes count in Clothes? Cause Dana has new sneakers, they probably count as Clothes. Yeah, they’re Clothes. So now I’ve got $90 to work with? Not enough. Should I hold off? I’ll hold off. Aw, can’t hold off. Business trip coming up. Ok, so I’ll get the suit, but no more clothes for 3 months. Not even underwear. Or I can swap categories! Since we missed dinner out last week there’s extra cash in entertainment. I’ll just use that money…

See what I mean? The crazed Leprechaun forces me into his little funhouse and spins me around and around on his little merry-go-round. The ride stops when I settle for the piece of sweaty fabric that’s the cheaper than the rest–the kind of suit you won’t want to meet in a dark alley, the kind of suit that enjoys showing the world how inadequately a boyish frame can fill it out. Even the mirrors laugh. Ha! Look! A 6-year boy in a prom tux! Cruel mirrors.

But guess what mirrors? This boy got his clothes within BUDGET.

So it’s a win for me, right?

Well, I guess so. The budget kept me closer to my arbitrary dollar category.

But the detail exhausts me. The whole thing is frustrating. Like trying to get all of your money out of a thousand piggy banks at the same time. My life won’t fit into categories. Categories aren’t flexible enough to deal with my pen explosions, and moving violations, and unexpected pregnancies. (Yes, moving violations and unplanned pregnancies. Don’t judge me.)

I need some margins in my life. I need a financial system without hard edges and intense degrees of detail. I need something relaxed. A system that Bob Marley would support if he were frugal.

And of course, the system would need to work too. Relaxed yes, but rigorous and effective.

You’re doubting a system like this is possible, right? It seems a tad undisciplined? It seems against all financial advice you’ve ever heard?

Budgets are like diets.

Both budgets and diets have their dogmatists. And I’m sure you know a few diet zealots (DZ’s).

The DZ’s are the ones who only understand weight loss in terms of dieting. And dieting to them means the classic diet, that regimented, calorie-counting, food-categorizing way to lose weight. And because diets work for them, DZ’s assume diets will work for everybody else. So they talk up their diets as the only way to lose weight. The non-dieters try. Some of them try very hard. But eventually, they return to their old ways. They each have different reasons for quitting, but many people just give up in the detail of all the do’s and dont’s.

The DZ’s don’t understand. They blame it on lack of discipline.

But the DZ’s forget something. They forget that some people don’t run on rigid rules. Some people run on guidelines. Maybe you’re a guideline person.

Are you among those that have tried a budget and quit? Did you stop after getting lost, annoyed, or tired of the detail? Perhaps the problem isn’t you, perhaps the problem is this: the process doesn’t match your personality.

Is there another way?

The short answer is yes. There is another way. But let’s not take this too fast. If you’re a guideline person like me and hate budgets more than SoyJoys this advice could be life-changing. Let’s slow down and let it soak in.

Sounds like we’ll need a Part Two to this post. Next time, I’ll sort through a few guidelines Mrs. Moneysaver and I have formulated into a lightweight financial gameplan. We call our method the “No Budget Budget”.

And for all you budget types, I’m not getting down on you. I truly believe you’re actually the normal ones. Budgets work for most people. And after all, you don’t have the crazed budget Leprechaun in your head. He doesn’t whisper to you in the still of the night when no one else is around. Be thankful.

As my grandma used to say, “Running your house with no budget is a like running around with no clothes.” Indeed grandma, it’s not for everyone. But for some, the No Budget Budget can be a truly liberating experience.

On that note, who wants to hear Part Two?